At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
