Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
