im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
