If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
