Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
