Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
