Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
