I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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