Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
