think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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