I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
