Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
