i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
