So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Someone signed my nipple.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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