we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
