There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
