im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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