The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
