im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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