Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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