Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
