this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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