and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
