whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
