U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
