Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
