just tell him i said nine months
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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