So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
