So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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