Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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