Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
