yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
