glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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