She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
