he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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