get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
