Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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