I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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