69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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