omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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