bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
