She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize