my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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