The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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