I wish I only lived at night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
