He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
