FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
