we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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