i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Drake has all the answers
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
