I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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