So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
