apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
