my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
