you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize