you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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