Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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