Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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