The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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