Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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